Hello,

Here’s more under the theme of changing and expanding towards our goals.

In February’s edition of the newsletter, I shared a simple visualisation technique for reducing stress.
Here’s another quick tip…

There is usually one overriding reason which stops people from changing and achieving new goals.

Fear.

Whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or perhaps the reaction of people around them, fear is often what stops people doing what they really want to do.
And here’s the thing, in society we tend to build boxes around ourselves and to stay where it’s comfortable (of course what is commonly labelled ‘the comfort zone’). As we attempt change we move out of our comfort zone which is where we can feel uneasy, and experience stress and tension. Crucially though, the more we step out of our comfort zone, the more it expands.
Our fear often comes from the way we see ourselves, the way we think about ourselves in the present moment. As we compare our self perception to the situation we’re faced with , we’ll often say to ourselves something like ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘this just isn’t me’ which is usually followed by us feeling anxiety or fear.

Plus, once you’re in any negative state (such as fear), our actions are affected and our chances of successes in our endeavours is greatly reduced.

So the tip:

Think of what you want. Be specific.

Now close your eyes and picture yourself doing the skill or experiencing the change as you would want to (for example, with upmost confidence and self belief). Make sure you can see yourself as you play a movie in your mind of you tackling the situation with ease, enjoying the experience. Notice how you are standing (or sitting), pay attention to your posture, how you are breathing. Are you smiling? Notice your gestures and how you move.
Now step into your body so you are experiencing this behaviour first hand, looking through your own eyes. Notice the feelings of being in complete control, with maximum self belief, calm and at ease. Notice where these feelings are located in your body. Notice how people respond to you.

Now step out of your body and again, observe yourself as you want to be, handling the situation with ease and confidence. Pay closer attention to your movements, your facial expressions. Hear yourself speaking. How do you sound when you’re completely confident?

Now step back into your body and experience this powerful emotional state again, looking through your own eyes. Notice again the feelings and where they are located in your body. Are the feelings of confidence more powerful this time?

Continue the exercise for as long as you wish – keep stepping in to, and out of your body, and allow the feelings of confidence (and other positive states) to expand.

Re-programme your brain to experience the situation with confidence and expand your comfort zone as you do so.

Enjoy the technique and thanks for reading.

Stephen.